Ok, this is an article i wrote for Comp 102 during "Smart Start" at Southern... the thesis was for us to write a persuasive paper on any topic of our choice. I wrote about dads....and since I have the best dad out there any girl can have, it was easy to write about. I showed my Dad this paper and im pretty sure i could see a proud smile beneath that big black, fluffy mustache of his! :) i love you daddy
A young girl of only ten stands nervously next to the balance beam in her very first regional’s meet. She can close her eyes and imagine every move, lift, and skill that awaits her as soon as the judges salute her to begin. Instead of being filled with excitement and confidence however, she is filled with a gaping sense of insecurity. Next to her mother is an empty chair where her father should be seated. She falls while immediately mounting her first skill, not because she lacks the practice and training, but because she does not have the emotional support of the most important male figure in her life.
According to the highly regarded psychosexual analysis thinker Sigmund Freud, a young girl under the right circumstances can develop The Electra Complex is-- a psychoanalytic term used to describe a girl’s romantic feelings toward her father and anger towards her mother. Many people do not relate to this theory on a personal level whatsoever, but the basic principles of The Electra Complex remain today as a universal belief. A strong father-daughter relationship is extremely vital to the nurturing of a female’s self esteem and how she views of the world. As a result of uninvolved, emotionally abusive, and unprepared fathers, their daughters often develop a low self-esteem with men, unhealthy relationships and eventually an unhappy marriage.
As the primary male role model in a girl’s life, a father has an extreme amount of influence on his daughter. Little girls gain their first reflection of themselves as females from their fathers. During their early years, a girl develops either a high sense of self-respect or a low sense of self-respect based on the attention he gives her. Fathers can unintentionally destroy their daughters sense of total self worth when they place other people or events above their daughters. They do not always realize that when they skip a recital or a performance, they contribute to a girl’s biggest fear, that her father’s business meeting, football game, or poker night is more important than her. When she reaches adolescence, she subconsciously has a strong need to seek acceptance from other males to compensate for her father’s absence. She will work extremely hard to gain any amount of attention from males. For women with these backgrounds, even negative attention is better than none at all. She may appeal to a male’s sexual demands if it makes her feel wanted. The girl may feel like she is unable to say no because there is a lack of healthy boundaries.. She spirals downward after every unloving, and uncaring relationship, unable to stop the cycle. When a woman however, is taught to respect herself as a valuable person at a young age from her father, she will already have a strong enough character to avoid men who will only take advantage of her.
Some expecting fathers fear the chance of having a baby girl. They fear that they will not be able to relate to their daughters. Yet with a son, they can easily share experiences of growing up, sports and football games, or talks about girls. On the other hand, a girl requires a different set of needs than a boy. She will wants the same amount of attention. When a father concentrates more of his time on his son than his daughter, she may question her value as a female.
Throughout many years of history, society has neglected the rights of women concerning suffrage, salary, and political standing. A young girl that experiences this, combined with insecurities of not being able to relate to her brother’s relationship with her father may believe that she should abandon her femininity altogether. Sometimes, a women’s healthy self image can be traced back to the time her father told her she looked beautiful at church, or the times he would kiss her before bedtime and say, “goodnight princess”. A strong father-daughter relationship encourages a girl to grow into a strong, beautiful woman, proud to be feminine.
Many women are not fortunate enough to have a caring, involved father. I feel very blessed and rare to have my father. My sisters and I are a part of a minority of women with a father that took the time to give us advice about anything and everything in our lives. He took us to gymnastics practice when he could have been doing yard work or relaxing in his pull-out chair. He gave us strict rules on how to find a Godly man, and avoid the worldly, shallow men. With his love, attention, and guidance, I can confidently say that I feel just as valued as a single woman as I would if I was in a romantic relationship. Because of this, I have the desire, not a need, for male companionship. I have seen first-hand, what qualities a real man of God should have, and I will not settle for anything less than what my father would want for me.
The most important father of all however, is the one that makes no mistakes or flaws. Our Heavenly Father is the only man in every woman’s life that will never let her down or disappoint. He should fulfill our needs so that a male companion does not fill a missing gap in our hearts, but instead connects with ours. The more time women spend with the Lord, the easier it will be for them to recognize a Godly man.
Should a father feel entirely responsible for the hurt, broken heart, and sting of a break-up for his daughter? The answer is of course not. As individuals living in a free country, women take upon all the responsibilities of their actions. Nevertheless, fathers should never take their jobs as care takers and providers for their daughters lightly. When a father is uninvolved, emotionally abusive or unprepared, his daughters may over time develop a low self-esteem of themselves and with men. In order to prohibit these unfortunate results of a poor father-daughter relationship, a woman should concentrate on the superior father—Jesus Christ.
